Wrapping Up

Its nearing that time when I should begin to reflect on what I’ve done, panic about not knowing what’s next, be sad about leaving India, be excited about going home… There have been adequate doses of each of these emotions over the past few weeks, but mostly I’m just busy with work and trying to enjoy what’s left of my time in Bangalore.

In any case, if you are interested in reading my reflections on my experience and what’s ahead, you should enjoy this entry.

Reflecting On What I’ve Done

Work has been a roller coaster. I’ve felt at times that I don’t know my place here, don’t understand the work culture, haven’t made as big of a difference as I set out to. Then I think about where I started and how much I’ve learned, grown, and contributed. I realize that my knowledge of microfinance and the development sector in India has grown by leaps and bounds.

My work has primarily focused on providing low-cost, efficiency producing communication materials and trainings to our field staff and customers. Initially uncertain of what the impact of this type of work would be, I now see that it can have significant business results. Our customers lead busy lives and need to easily be able to make informed financial decisions. My projects have helped to reduce the amount of time required from our customers during trainings and increased the sales of underperforming and new loan products.

More recently I got involved with launching an Individual Lending Product, which has by far been the most interesting and satisfying part of my experience. I truly think that it is a stepping-stone for customers on their path out of poverty and towards financial freedom. It is an opportunity for customers accustomed to the group lending system to become integrated into a more “traditional” lending process. Additionally it enables MFIs to offer larger loan amounts and diversified products to their customers, without jeopardizing an entire group.

Most importantly on the work front, over the past few months I have been able to really come out of my shell, which has resulted in some meaningful relationships. Assimilating into a new culture or work environment is never easy. I knew this before coming, and although it was tough at first, the pay off of feeling a much deeper cultural understanding is huge. The “Break Throughs”, small or big, have been incredibly motivating, and were a big reason that I signed up for this fellowship in the first place.

Panicking About Not Knowing What’s Next

Me? Panic? Unheard of.

Believe it or not, I’m actually not in severe panic mode about not knowing what’s next. I was a few months ago. Many thoughts, experiences, books, and conversations have occurred since this panicked state. Now I am in a mode of keeping my options and my mind open, holding out for something I will be really happy with, and enjoying a bit of down time with my family. It’s actually last been since the 10th grade in high school that I was unemployed for more than a week or two. I need a break!

I do know something about what is coming next though; A concerted effort to start doing the things I enjoy more, putting more effort into trying new things, and meeting new people. I’ve had some really positive influences here in India that have taught me about how to balance work with personal interests, and even allow the two to intersect. I look forward to giving this a shot wherever I end up next.

I think the thing I am most panicky about relating to my return to the U.S. is this fear that my life will be incredibly boring. Probably my only plan is to not allow for this.

Being Sad About Leaving India

Yes, it’s true…I will be sad when its time to hop aboard my Air India Jet bound for JFK airport via London, Heathrow. I’ll probably be more ecstatic about going home than sad, but sad nonetheless.

There are an infinite number of small things that I will miss about India. The food, the love for deep conversation, the crowds, the colors, nature, the diversity of culture and language, access to the richest of the rich and poorest of the poor, the hospitality, the lack of planning, the weather, the travel, cricket, the classical music, yoga….The list could continue indefinitely.

Its going to be difficult to part with all of these things, but what is scariest is that I wont have anyone to share my experiences with when I get back. Sure, I can tell my friends and family all about the little details – well at least for the first week or two. Then I will probably begin to drive them up the wall and will also begin to feel like no one is listening to me when I talk.

India has been my life for the past year, but when I go back I will more or less resume things where they left off. I suspect that finding ways to keep the experience alive will be critical to my sanity. Continuing to build on the friendships I’ve made while here and incorporating aspects of Indian culture into my life in the US are two of my goals to help ease the “reverse culture shock”.

Being Excited About Going Home

In many ways, this is probably the most predominant feeling that I am experiencing now. My mom told me once that she feels that I am quite courageous for signing up to spend 11 months in a country that I know little about that is half way around the world. Half jokingly, I told her that it was more a lack of thinking the decision through than courage. If I really knew what I was getting myself into I would have at least had second thoughts before flying over here.

Being away from friends and family – my culture, my life – for such a long stretch isn’t as easy as I expected. I’ve spent a lot of time over the last year thinking about the things from America that I miss, and wishing that I could see my loved ones. Particularly in a country like India, where there is an enormous value placed on the family bond, I’ve had to really take into consideration what my goals are, and how I can be independent, but at the same time be a more active participant in my family life.

It has been an important learning experience to realize the importance of my family and the value that I place on our relationships. This really hit home when I became conscious of the fact that I would start looking forward to my weekly phone calls home days in advance. For the first time in my life, I felt like my mom was the one trying to get me off the phone, rather than the reverse.

To say that I am excited to return home would be a huge understatement. I think that I will probably kiss the ground when I step foot in the airport, squeeze the life out of whoever I first see while hugging them, and have a pit stop at a pizza/burrito/wine serving restaurant. I’ve actually already made a shopping list of things that I’d like waiting for me upon my arrival.

And Finally, A Quick Aside Worth Sharing

I’ve mentioned at least once on my blog about my frustrations related to the dirt road that I take to work everyday. In reality this is probably one of the things I complain about most. It’s not that I didn’t expect dirt roads in India. It’s just that we are in Bangalore, not a village, and this particular road is unpaved for no good reason at all. Virtually every other road around it is paved. Moreover, it gets much muddier when it rains than the average dirt road in Bangalore. I usually have to roll my pants up to my knees and bring an extra pair of shoes to work, and even with these precautionary measures, I end up with mud splatterings all over my clothes and backpack.

Well, for as long as I have been complaining about said muddy road, I have been predicting that the government of India would get around to paving it at precisely the time that I would be departing Bangalore and no longer required to use it on a daily basis.

It was probably around October when I first made this prediction. At the time, this seemed unlikely, considering I learned during a conversation with my landlord that it had been over 7 years that the road had its original pavement removed (God knows why??) and that the local community had been complaining.

Well, sure enough, construction has been underway for the last month to change the piping, sewer system, and wiring that runs underneath the road. And, if my estimates are accurate, they are running on schedule to have the paving done just around the time of my last day of work. Typical…just typical.